Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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