I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
