I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
