Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
