I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
