You just made me feel so damn special
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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