I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
