i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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