so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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