maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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