Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
