I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
