think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think I sprained my soul last night
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize