he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
This is classic penis vs brain.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
