Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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