Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
