Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
