How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Its about making memories worth repressing
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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