he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
