I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
