WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
