Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
