I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Umm I'm too high to move.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
