From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just had sex on a roof
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
