Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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