He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Randomize
