What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
