How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
