I just pynch a tree in the face
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
