Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Your mouth is God's brothel.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
