Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize