Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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