Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
