i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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