So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
