i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
