yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
