Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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