yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
vagina is talking i cant
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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