I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
