I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
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