wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize