At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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