when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
