There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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