i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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