we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
