Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Found the puke drawer
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
