You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
