his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
