She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
