All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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