VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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