what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
