are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
