he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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