we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
whose parrot is this?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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