doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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