it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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