Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Dick very happy bro
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
